Here Is What Happens When You Try To Create A 3D Pokémon In 5 Minutes

Here is the number of important things I can do in five minutes: zero. There are zero things that will truly matter to me or anyone else that I can do in five minutes. This is probably true for a lot of people, but it hasn’t stopped Pokémon fans from trying.

But Natalie, you might say. You can brush your teeth in five minutes. You can meditate in five minutes. You can update your to-do list in five minutes, according to this lovely productivity article.

But nothing you can do in five minutes will make or break your life. It takes several five-minute lapses to either maintain or screw up your teeth. It takes several stretches of five minutes to become mindful, or to actually do the things on your to-do list—or, in my case, make several more to-do lists instead.

Here is another thing you can’t do in five minutes: create a competent 3D model for a video game in 2019. Namely, for Pokémon Sword and Shield.

But there are some people who disagree, fuelled, like many great minds, by hubris and shoddy maths. Following the reveal that not all Pokémon will be available in the upcoming Pokémon Sword and Shield, one fan apparently speculated that adding them all would only take five minutes each.

People rose to the challenge, trying to prove that they could create an entire competent model for a current-gen, fully 3D Pokémon game in, you guessed it, five minutes.

Because creating 3D models in five minutes is a silly idea, the internet internetted and demonstrated exactly how that would look to prove a point with the hashtag #5MinutePokémonRenders. Hilarity ensued.

Nightmares also happened. This Golbat is my nemesis.

https://twitter.com/a/status/1140987622153543681

Here is a Politoed, or a reasonable facsimile!

i’m ashamed at myself that this took me longer than 5 minutes #5minutepokemonrenders pic.twitter.com/2x3nKa2kSG

— Ryan Bevins (@RyanBevins_) June 17, 2019

Here is a Nidorino that I think was made with Nintendo Labo.

Ya’ll know I had to get in on the #5minutepokemonrenders #ポケモン5分モデリング pic.twitter.com/IelrWsgRW5

— Heather Cleveland (@Snorkelhead) June 17, 2019

It seems this Cubone took not only its mother’s skull but also her face! Adorbs.

https://twitter.com/a/status/1140022744232452096

Here is Torchic with, in my head canon, its Blaziken parent. “Motherhood got you stretched in a million different directions?” Yes, indeed!

I’m going to put these here too because is what they deserve#ポケモン5分モデリング #5minutePokémonRenders pic.twitter.com/x5pQ4MAEiC

— Mido 🌱 (@midostree) June 16, 2019

Here’s a picture my niece drew of me of when she was little.

https://twitter.com/a/status/1139970889125175297

And here is my fifth-grade class picture where I tried Afro puffs for the first time.

https://twitter.com/a/status/1139816387407306754

Ahh! Real Pocket Monsters.

https://twitter.com/a/status/1139944086847348738

Here is a lovely casserole dish.

https://twitter.com/a/status/1140137095870107648

And do you remember those Wonder Ball candies?

https://twitter.com/a/status/1139963738306633728

SO MANY ORBS.

well this is what i get for not opening sculptris in 5 years #ポケモン5分モデリング #5minutepokemonrenders #sneasel pic.twitter.com/cYF9h4O5z7

— monix M.Sc. (master of schenanigans) (@willowescapee) June 15, 2019

Also, blue pupper Riolu. Uh oh.

https://twitter.com/a/status/1140025639329775616

And hey, another cameo from my worst nightmares, or maybe a rejected Devilman Crybaby design.

https://twitter.com/a/status/1139967787227471872

This Gastly is actually not bad, if you consider the fact that gas isn’t always visible, and—

Name this pokemon #ポケモン5分モデリング #5minutepokemonrenders #5minutePokémonRenders pic.twitter.com/mk2jTiqHDb

— TheTalkingEd (@bigheadededboy) June 17, 2019

Here we have a cameo from Kimba the White Lion.

We don’t shy away from a challenge. #5minutepokemonrenders pic.twitter.com/Gh6irMn5Zc

— Lewis & Clark IT (@lclarkit) June 17, 2019

And my seventh-grade ink pens.

https://twitter.com/a/status/1139952647031721984

Some of these are actually good, like these models of the various forms of Porygon, a Pokémon based off of the idea of what competent modelling looked like in the ’90s. So hey, maybe that person was right after all!

some 5 min (and a few extra to texture) pokemon renders of the perfect pokemon for this challenge #ポケモン5分モデリング #5minutepokemonrenders pic.twitter.com/QFN4YKIwva

— Kaz 🎠 (@ban00dle) June 18, 2019

This thread is a pretty cool process log, showing the creation of a Sceptile model in five-minute intervals.

5 min Pokémon the thread. I do not know Gamefreak’s pileline for characters. But this is how I would go about making Sceptile in 5 min bursts. This is just a highpoly which is only the first step in making a game ready character. #ポケモン5分モデリング #5minutePokémonRenders pic.twitter.com/jTrFYhpIOn

— 🦇James Bear🦇 Looking for Work (@JamesBearArt) June 15, 2019

Some of them are just cute.

made the shiny version since i was at it and also finished Kyogre#5minutepokemonrenders #ポケモン5分モデリング pic.twitter.com/olr05VFneG

— 👁 Giu 👁 in uni hell (@erregiuly) June 17, 2019

nailed it #5minutepokemonrenders #ポケモン5分モデリング pic.twitter.com/deZP2M2rGX

— docvalentine.bsky.social (@docvalentine) June 14, 2019

Jokes aside, it would probably take me at least an hour to even get my software ready to do all this, and another several figuring how to uncrash my computer. So I respect these artists for helping us learn a little more about their work. For my part, I’m just going to ask Mr. Mime to help me reconfigure my to-do list.

MFW i log onto twitter dot com #5minutePokémonRenders pic.twitter.com/1gLqIz2bJw

— TheAlienBanana👾 (@TheAlienBanana) June 18, 2019